"Spoons" On St. Patrick's Day

 As many of us think of today as a day to celebrate good luck, or wear a lot of green and eat Corned Beef and Cabbage. I had mixed feelings about it. I wanted to make it fun for my students, and my fellow coworkers always hit it out of the park. I'm in awe of them on days when I feel like I might not measure up. But today was different than that too.

For a few months now, my stress level has been on its top level. I had been dealing with probably more than my fair share of things at work and home. Prepping for my first literary conference has been a level of stress yet fun anticipation. I always try to carry everything and sometimes I don't take care of myself when I do that. So, today, on a day when I should've listened to my own body I threw all my "spoons" into the pot first thing in the morning. 

"Spoons", not the utensil, but the term for people who live each day with a chronic or invisible illness. Most days its my chronic ITP that can run havoc. Today it was a major headache and that followed with a few other symptoms that I eventually figured out was my hemiplegic migraines. These are a rare form of migraine, and when I have one I usually need rest. In a quiet room, in the dark preferably. Today, when even my coworker told me I should've gone home, I used my spoons and put them all towards pushing myself at work.

Could I have gone home? Sure, but I also wanted to be at work where I feel happy. Not many times do I consider what I throw my spoons at. More than usual, it's for work. But that's also a part of life. It's a part of living with an invisible illness. You push and please, and at the same time, you try to remember to breathe. 

So, Happy St. Patrick's Day! And here's to a little more "spoon" good luck

--JS

PS: if you liked this post, just wait for my conference paper: "Invisible Illness: Through the Eyes of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet"