N E E D (35)

                                                                                    N E E D

This is something that I feel like has different definitions among age levels. For a simple child, it could be “I need that” vs understanding wanting something; like a toy. Yet for adults, it seems to have the idea that it’s more beyond control or regarding stress relievers.

I think having a want or a need is more a part of life than anything else. Always comparing the two in a list whenever something of choice came up. It never seemed fair to do that but that was what most in charge wanted it to be. The choice between a want and a need could feel simple or cause turmoil. 

Even if it can be caused by stress, a “need” can be a cure. Like needing to cool off and take a deep breath. Or if you need someone’s touch to calm you. A need doesn’t have to be something that comes from thinking you deserve something. They can be what helps you to continue on. 

-JS

E S S A Y (34)

 E S S A Y 

Writing comes and goes for everyone in life. Though that doesn’t always mean that everyone likes it. When it comes down to it, what would our lives even look like without words or writing? The Holy Bible, or any religious book, those words are lived by those who follow them. They are words that people believe once they see them on a page. Yet those are words too.

So when you see an essay, or a student gets one for an assignment, it is almost seen as dread. That they wouldn’t want to care or deal with one. Yet some of the best essays written are by those who might not have even wanted to write to begin with. Writing can be persuasive, narrative, explanatory, or creative. Essays can be more than what you use in school for a grade, and can even be continued into adulthood. Like conferences or speaking events, those have to start somewhere like with an essay.

Essays can be short or long given what the topic might have to be about. Once it is turned in or submitted somewhere, there is no changing the words that are on that page. They are now out in the world as an explanation for the topic or story of your choice. When I get to share my words with the world, I see them flourish around to others. I see them being absorbed off the page as someone begins to believe them. Even when I write about something deeply personal, my writing is how I get those feelings out that I might not be able to explain with my own words in person. Sometimes writing speaks for itself. 

-JS

E M O T I O N S (33)

                      E M O T I O N S

Anger, sadness, love, etcetera… I feel like I could go on forever with a list of emotions yet those are the first three that come to mind. They come up naturally as an instinct due to circumstances of situations we might find ourselves in.  Or we can decide our actions in relation to who we might find ourselves with. Emotions are always in us just waiting for the right place right time to be seen.

I never thought about emotions being as complicated as they might seem. Some people could sit for hours and not feel anything while others can feel everything all at once. That’s the difference as well between someone showing empathy versus apathy. Empathy is more emotions and those who feel for others; whereas apathy is those who cannot feel emotions for someone else besides themselves. Apathy is a lack of concern towards others or you could say a lack of emotion. That they might understand the feeling more if they thought about the other person in the situation. 

Emotions also can allow us to hide. Hide from those feelings we might not be ready to face, or when certain feelings might be too much to deal with. Our connection to our emotions can be strong like a bridge that connects us to others. Yet that bridge is the most protected one of all. Our emotions can act as our shield, and they can allow all others to either see our true colors or to hide in plain sight. 

           Today we all wonder how our emotions play a game in our lives. Taking its turn with the dice, curious if it’ll score a big number or not. We cannot turn off our emotions no matter how much we might want to. They are what makes us all human after all. 

-JS

"Spoons" On St. Patrick's Day

 As many of us think of today as a day to celebrate good luck, or wear a lot of green and eat Corned Beef and Cabbage. I had mixed feelings about it. I wanted to make it fun for my students, and my fellow coworkers always hit it out of the park. I'm in awe of them on days when I feel like I might not measure up. But today was different than that too.

For a few months now, my stress level has been on its top level. I had been dealing with probably more than my fair share of things at work and home. Prepping for my first literary conference has been a level of stress yet fun anticipation. I always try to carry everything and sometimes I don't take care of myself when I do that. So, today, on a day when I should've listened to my own body I threw all my "spoons" into the pot first thing in the morning. 

"Spoons", not the utensil, but the term for people who live each day with a chronic or invisible illness. Most days its my chronic ITP that can run havoc. Today it was a major headache and that followed with a few other symptoms that I eventually figured out was my hemiplegic migraines. These are a rare form of migraine, and when I have one I usually need rest. In a quiet room, in the dark preferably. Today, when even my coworker told me I should've gone home, I used my spoons and put them all towards pushing myself at work.

Could I have gone home? Sure, but I also wanted to be at work where I feel happy. Not many times do I consider what I throw my spoons at. More than usual, it's for work. But that's also a part of life. It's a part of living with an invisible illness. You push and please, and at the same time, you try to remember to breathe. 

So, Happy St. Patrick's Day! And here's to a little more "spoon" good luck

--JS

PS: if you liked this post, just wait for my conference paper: "Invisible Illness: Through the Eyes of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet" 

P U S H (32)

 P U S H

Nothing comes easy and sometimes that means we have to give it a little “push”. I guess in ways that pushing can be a good thing but also can cause struggle. Sometimes we need to give a little “push” to get things going. But other times pushing can cause more harm than good. 

When some things might be going the right way, they can at times hit a snag in ways. That push comes to shove; it doesn't always need to go the way we all might want. Like with work or jobs. Pushing yourself can prove you are a team player to those who might see you as more of a pushover.

At other times, and when it might seem like a good idea, pushing yourself when you should take a minute could be damaging. When your body is in pain, or your mental health could be struggling from stress, that would be a good time to not push yourself. In those tough moments, you might benefit from taking a back seat and allowing yourself to relax or unwind to help in the long run. If you push yourself when you really should be resting, it could be more damaging instead. 

-JS